Saucy (slutfish85) wrote,

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San Diego... that's German for "whale vagina".

This summer has had its ups and downs. Mostly downs. My car accident, my job not being much fun, my boss being a bitch and making me feel worthless, nothing to do in Syracuse when I want to have some fun with friends. My body improves but I am still emotionally sensitive. I can’t seem to take the criticism I receive from my boss, that I’m not doing as good of a job as last summer, though I feel like I haven’t changed in the way I do things there. That has been upsetting. Swim lessons so far are going well. It’s a drag getting up at 8:30 on Monday, Wednesday and Friday mornings. I pretty much just don’t feel like doing this shit anymore. I figured I’d lifeguard one more summer after this, but now I’m not so sure. With my boss and I clashing lately, I feel almost unwelcome and uncomfortable when I’m there. It sucks that I don’t want to come back though because my salary rocks. But.. if I’m not happy being there anymore, what’s the point? Four summers is plenty. I need to beef up the resume. Where I could work next summer, I’m really not sure. Ideally, a place where the boss is more professional. That’d be nice. I think I may try and get some hours lifeguarding at the pool at St Mikes for some extra cash, because I’m always buying stuff.
I feel like I’m at an odd point in my life. Summers home from college are boring and I just don’t know what to do with myself. I like keeping busy. Because when I’m not busy, I feel like there is something missing. Not being in Vermont is hard. I long to be back in that state so badly, because there I am most at peace with myself and most happy. It’s always so gray here. I go back August 29th and classes start August 30th. It’s a bummer we can’t go back a few days early and just kick it before classes start, but oh well. I am so excited to return, I really miss my friends, but I’ve been good at keeping in touch with people. I’ve been trying to get ahold of Jessie, but have been unsuccessful, which sucks. Whitney and I are already talking about ideas for our room.
I’ve hung out with Mike Grosack 4 or 5 times already and that’s been fun. He makes me laugh so hard and I think it’s a great self esteem boost for him. He is such a smart, genuine kid. I really enjoyed going to see Fahrenheit 9/11 with him, because the conversation we had after was very stimulating, the kind of intellectual conversation I haven’t had since school. It really got my mind cranking. We also saw Anchorman, such a funny movie. Will Ferrell is the man, and that movie has quotes that I’m sure I’ll be repeating with friends at school. Tonight I went over to his house (he lives like 3 houses down).. we had a real great chat about college, friends, life etc, and it reminded me how fascinating deep chats can be. We were able to relate on a lot of things, like how preppy we were at mph and how now we’re just all relaxed and laid back and how great it is.. because once you leave mph, its like.. who cares anymore. It was time for us to open our eyes and get real. We have both met tons of interesting people at school and agree that it’s the experiences that make school so worthwhile and where we learn the most about ourselves.
Anyway... Today I went shopping and it ruled. I got some new khakis, black flip flops cuz my other ones are ripping, 2 new gym shorts, a bra, and the new Brandy cd which is pretty good. The last song on it is my favorite- its called “Should I Go” and it has the music from the song “Clocks” by Coldplay, but with a lil hip hop beat in it, and its just real soothing and neat.
It’s really late and I’m tired. Goodnight...
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