Saucy (slutfish85) wrote,

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well lifes too short so love the one you got cuz ya might get run over or ya might get shot

Well, freshman year is over. That had to be the best year of my life. I didn’t think leaving school would be that hard, but it really was. It wasn’t like the end of a high school year where you knew you could drive to a friends house anytime over the summer. I wont be seeing these people and be in the same place again for four months.. and its gonna be a long ass four months. The night before I left for home on Friday, a bunch of us squeezed around a table at dinner and just reminisced and talked about our favorite nights during the year, and id hafta say mine was Halloween and going to The Rocket. And the concerts we went to, oh the concerts.. Guster, Badfish, Pete Francis, Train, Damien Rice.. I loved just looking around at my friends and savoring the moment and taking it all in. When we went back to the dorm, we all gathered in Amanda and Amelia’s room to watch the last Friends episode, which pretty much reflected what we were going through and it was sad. After that we went out into that circle in the middle of campus where the benches are and just chilled under the stars talking and smoking cigars.. that was nice. Mary busted out her guitar and played this one sad song and everyone was quiet and I started crying, along with a few others. Sad music always does me in. Everyone cried a bunch this whole week. Then Jessie and I went around to other dorms to say bye to guy friends and whatnot because I knew I wouldn’t have time in the morning to say bye since my parents were coming early and would want to get on the road. I got so many hugs this past week. Warm, tight, long hugs that showed people truly care. Saying bye to CJ on Wednesday was hard, he kept hugging me and I could tell he didn’t wanna leave me. Poor Hunter didn’t even want to say bye because he hates saying goodbye, but Jake was like Hunter just hug her and say bye already! It was cute. Saying bye to Nate was weird because when I came over, Laura was inside and they had probably just been getting it on. I’m gonna miss that kid though. We spent a lot of time together this year and he’s so fun to goof with. The past couple days this kid Ryan, or “Irish” as everyone calls him, had been chillin with our crew, and it always sucks when you meet someone cool just when the years comin to an end, and you wish you could’ve spent more time with um. He’s going to UVM next year though so hopefully he’ll visit. His nickname for me is Polish. He let me paint his nails at like 3AM Friday morning. I don’t think I’ve ever painted a guys nails before. What a good sport!
In high school and even before that, the end of the year was sad, which it was this year too, but way different. It seriously felt like we were graduating or something, it was that intense, maybe even more intense than high school graduation. I think its because we’ve grown so used to living with one another and being able to see each other whenever we want so easily. I think its because it will never be the same. Never in the future will I be able to walk out my door and see all the same girls collectively. Never will it be the same. I even took pictures of my room before I started packing so I can remember just how it was.
This final week, everyone really came together and appreciated our time left and I loved it. Even with final exams, everyone was supportive, saying good luck when I was off to a test, encouraging me that I’d be great, asking how they were going, etc. It really put life in perspective, and made me realize how important friends are in life. A few weeks ago we all felt like, holy shit it’s the end of the year I can’t believe it, but by the time this last week came around, it was really starting to sink in. Although I was really busy preparing for finals and my mind was elsewhere, I still had time to chat with Jessie about it a lot at night when we were in bed in the dark about to go to sleep, about how this year has been unbelievable and how hard it will be to leave. It’s awesome that Jessie and Amanda are living down the hall next year, it’ll make the transition easier. I also look forward to rooming with Whitney! She lived across the hall from me this year. Jessie was definitely awesome though and helped this year run smooth. I started to cry while I packed the last of my things and my side of the room was becoming bare, and she came over and we stood there hugging in the middle of the room crying together, and I told her I couldn’t have asked for a better roommate. We were feeling the exact thing at that moment. It was like something out of a movie. I feel so incredibly lucky to have met the people I have met and to have had Jessie as a roommate, because we never had a single problem. Living every day with these girls definitely made us close like sisters. Even if sometimes they’d get on my nerves or if they got too much for me, at the end of the day, that shit didn’t matter. I have come to realize that college is largely about experience—meeting interesting people and interacting in a world away from what I am used to and what I know—versus schoolwork and books. I feel like I’ve changed inside.. maybe I’m more worldly or something. My dad called me that tonight. I mean I’ll still act the same around you, don’t get me wrong, I’m still crazy!! But really, I just feel like I’m gaining the experiences I hoped I would and I’m learning about myself and my capabilities, and I love it. I was hoping for big thangs, change, and an adventure, and its what I got. I’ve absolutely fallen in love with Vermont. I loved seeing the mountains in the distance from my window and walking outside my dorm each day and taking a deep breath of fresh air. Strolling down Church Street always brought a smile to my face, looking around at the different people and street performers. Skiing at Smuggs and Stowe were highlights of the winter; it gave me a chance to bond with friends, have fun, improve, relax, and ski some place cooler than Labrador Mtn. When I was laying under the stars with my friends that last night, I sighed and said how I love Vermont so much that I wanna hug it, and then I rolled over onto my stomach and laid flat. Then I proceeded to hump it a bit. I think Vermont loves me too.
I loved taking drives just to get off campus with Whit and whoever else, maybe Schnurr and Shana, blasting “Yeah” by Usher and dancing .. best moment was when we stopped at a light beside this dude who was kinda cute, so I said hey hows it goin. Then after a minute I was like, hey don’t you guys think he kinda looks like Joey McIntyre from New Kids on the Block? So I said to him… excuse me, but has anyone ever told you that you look like Joey McIntyre from New Kids? he smiled and said no, so I said ok have a nice day and we sped away, it was so funny... and then there was that time I jumped out of the car at a red light and danced in front of the car.. Whitney revved the engine and I shrieked, that sucked. And that time after getting back from Smuggs at 10AM Saturday and Schnurr was unloading her gear from Whit’s car, and we stopped to dance and blast the music… then later that day Matt Hogan said he had woke and looked out his window to see us dancing alone in a deserted campus, lol. Getting drunk in vegan/straight edge Scott’s room.. “whoa Sara LOVES college”.. I love Scott, he’s so funny. Watched Chappelle’s Show in his room every Wednesday night. And the time I drank with my RA at a party. And havin a good time in Nas’s place.. aw man I love how I thought I ran the damn show. First time playing beruit there! Anyway.. theres are just some of so many stories I could tell. Like when I got water balloons thrown at me from the third floor of joyce hall, haha.. o man I could go on forever.

I know this entry was super deep and reflective, but its all true. And I haven’t had extremely deep times like this before really. So this is something special.
Since I’ve been home, I’ve just been unpacking and doin stuff with my parents. Its also weird to be alone a lot again. I haven’t been alone this much in God knows how long. Its sorta nice, I suppose.. though I know I’ll be bored after a while. Soon enough in like a month er so work will be starting up and I’ll be hangin with friends … I don’t think many people are home yet. But I really look forward to seeing old friends, and seeing who has changed. I’m sure all the boys grew their hair out and grew some facial hair just to prove that they’ve become men. Well if you’ve read through this entire entry, thank you, and I hope you enjoyed getting some insight on what this past year was like for me. And don’t forget to holler at me so we can chill!

Peace, Sara.
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