Saucy (slutfish85) wrote,

Phish, etc

The party at Jig’s was fun, and my birthday Friday was rad. Friends and Family got me some real nice things and I really appreciated everything. It’s crazy I’m 19, my last year as a teenager! It’ll be so weird to turn 20. My mom said she feels like I should be turning 20.. I’m like, huh? I still feel little or something, and 20 seems so old. Oh well.

Last night, on June 19th, I went to see Phish at Saratoga Performing Arts Center (or SPAC) with Austin Steele.. I couldn't think of many people from high school that liked Phish or would wanna go with me, and on a whim I asked if he happened to like him, and surprisingly he's into that kinda music now so I was pumped I had a partner in crime. Anyway, a Phish concert was the most unique event I’ve ever been too. There were so many hippies it was unbelievable. Everywhere I looked-- tie dye, dreadlocks, patchwork clothing, people playing bongos, drinking beer, selling bowls or smoking them! I even saw some guy casually snort cocaine right next to me, it was nuts. Austin and I had to be the only sober people there. I met up with my friend Sam from school, which was awesome. He was trying to find tickets all afternoon from anyone selling, but he had no luck. However he’s going to the concert tonight, because Phish plays there 2 nights in a row. I talked to him for a couple minutes but it was getting close to the time that Phish was supposed to go on so we had to say goodbye. On my way in I passed some kid who was pointing at me and saying “you go to my school!!” .. it took me a second, but then I sorta recognized him, I think he’s older.. but I didn’t stop to chat, I had to keep movin with the crowd. We went through some checkpoints before fully entering the place, then went and got food cuz it was around dinnertime and we were super hungry. I got a hotdog and he got a cheeseburger, and they were both so ratty looking and thrown together but we both scarfed them down cuz they were surprisingly so good! We had lawn seats so we worked as far as we could into the crowd, found a place to sit down and eat, waited and looked around at all the crazy people. Some kid offered us weed, and he was actually kinda cute but he looked dirty and was like stumbling around. So eventually the band comes out and starts playing, and everyone goes into motion, instantly dancing. Throughout the show I danced too, basically bobbin the head and rockin out. I love those moments when you hear a great guitar solo and you close your eyes and get lost in that moment, it’s the most freeing thing. It did feel a little awkward dancing the same as the masses of drugged up youth.. I just wanted to have fun but I almost felt as if I was trying hard to look stoned or something, even though I wasn’t trying at all. In any case.. I got to do what I love so much about concerts, and that’s to just forget about my problems and forget about any cares and for a few hours I felt the unity that music brings to a large group of people. Everyone is singing the same words. Everyone is affected by these words and the rhythm the band creates. During these hours, we feel invincible.
Phish played a few songs I knew. Their tenth and final CD just came out called Undermind, and I’m gonna get it. I only have Farmhouse and Hoist, so I was lucky that they played a couple from those CDs and I had the chance to sing along. A lot of the time they would start a song, sing the lyrics and then just continue playing, or “jamming”, har har. They’re called a jamband for a reason. It was a little annoying though because sometimes they’d keep playing after finishing the lyrics for like 15 minutes or something. It was like, alright alright, just end it already. But whatever, it was a good time, and I feel lucky to have gotten to go to one since this is their last tour before they break up at the end of the summer.
That’s about it. Can’t wait to see John Mayer at the same place on August 8th. I kinda scoped out the place and saw where my seats for the concert will be, on the far left of the balcony, and I’m sure they’ll be fine. Any concert with John at it is a good concert, guaranteed.

Pertaining to the topic of the past 2 entries, I wrote a poem, because I thought this was a good topic to work with…. the fact that my life changed within 5 seconds. And because sometimes that’s all it can take.

The snap of a twig, the rustle of leaves
A stir, a moment set into action
A moment when the fragility of life became clear
And I knew I would never be the same.
My soul coughed and muttered,
Fate blundered, creating
Proof that this could all end so very easily.
This was not a joke
But my destiny, already wrote.

In the blink of an eye, I was blind
And for that moment
My world shook
A page turned
And I knew that this was it.
But it couldn’t be,
I wouldn’t let it be
Because I still needed to hug my mom
One last time
And to meet the love of my life
And to have a child
And I refused to leave this earth until I did.

Was it all wrong place, wrong time?
Did God decide it was my spine
He thought he could unbind?
But why mine God, why mine?
Yet God I shall not curse
For, as everyone’s told me,
It could have been much worse.

Why must we gamble our days
Pretending we have forever
To right our wrongs
And tell our friends that we love them?

My life was perfect, but all it took
Was the creak of a floorboard
The flick of a switch
The crack of a knuckle
A spark and fizzle in my mind
To heave me back to the starting line.
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