I’ve come to realize that my life is very divided. I have two separate and totally different lives now. The first time I came home, during Columbus Day break, it was really weird to be back. Took some adjusting. But I’m getting more used to bouncing back and forth between the two. And I’ve become used to the looong ass car rides.
Christmas break has been fun thus far. As much as I love SMC, its so nice having some alone time and time with my (real) family. Already skiied a few times.. but Lab does get old. Got lots of nice things for Christmas.. gave a lot too, which was expensive. Definitely understanding the power of the dollar and how I need to save and be careful with what I blow my money on. Like instead of random clothes that I don’t really need, I like using my money on sensible things, like alcohol. And boy have I grown to love the alcohol.
Speaking of alcohol, hooking up with, 5, 6, 7 ? guys already this past semester has been a blast. Definitely not what I’m used to, which I guess is why it kicks so much ass. This whole time I’ve been really open to anything, whatever came my way, having fun and all… but I’m starting to think that at the end of the day, I really should have some foundation.. if that makes any sense.. somebody to actually be with. I don’t want to be slutty ALL the time, I mean, shucks. I want to be taken seriously, damnit! Haha. Like I’d actually really like to try and find a guy to have a relationship with and settle down. Because at heart, I would just like a boy to be with. And SMC has got some great guys to choose from. I’ve already had a number of crushes. Seems like, if a crush goes no where, I don’t worry too much because I know there will be other options comin at me around the corner soon enough. Right now I do have my eyes on someone .. and I’m really hoping something will work out with him.. cuz I’m caahhrazy bout ‘em!! I love that feeling after talking to someone you like, and the conversation goes well, you just feel so happy and light as a feather. Squeal inducing conversations. I’ve been having those types of conversations lately with him. I want that feeling all the time. And I’m nearly positive that he likes me back. So.. I’m looking forward to getting back to school and getting my game on again.
Hmm what else. Things with Jessie are still going fine. She’s a schweety. I called her on Christmas to catch up. We call our room home now, its funny.. at first it felt kinda awkward, but it definitely has become home. Our room is cozy. It all truly felt like home after about 2 months.. there was a point where it hit me, it clicked, like this is all routine now and I totally feel comfortable with everything. In a way I miss the newness and excitement about a new school, but, whatev… doesn’t mean the fun don’t stop!
I’m looking forward to starting new classes, but not the work at all. I’ve gotten really sick of all the fuckin homework. It just gets soo draining after a while. Ugh, just thinking about it makes me go blah! Ok, breathe.
After a few months of easy mac, ramen, and buffet style eating at the cafeteria, my body was having it’s revenge (I think I heard it whisper "why are you doing this to me?" at one point.. or maybe I'm just going crazy ?). I was feeling like a total lard ass and no longer in shape (if you count soft pink mush as a shape). Ok that just sounds gross. But anyway, I wanted to stop feeling all guilty and yucky that I was becoming a statistic and I had to do something about this! The last 2-3 weeks of school before break, I started going to the gym with my friend CJ, and he’s become my running buddy. I’ve grown to enjoy running and I find that it brings fast results. Good for my legs. I forgot how good it makes me feel afterward, and that it like, releases endorphins, and I just looove being happy! I think running is easier to do and I last longer when running indoors. I didn’t use to like running because I always ran outdoors, and I think its cuz of like.. the air or something. For some reason I run better when the temp is warmish, room temperature. Ok this is really boring, isn’t it? Fuck it, this entry needs to end. lol
But seriously folks, I hope you’ve enjoyed reading this entry, because I know they’re rare. Looks like I’ll probably stick with doing another entry halfway through the semester and at the end. I kinda like looking back on college memories and the things I’ve done and the fun I’m having. Ok, cool.
HAVE FUN EVERYONE, I LOVE YOU ALL AND YOU ARE ALL MY CHILDREN